“You're just a little bitch aren't you? How's that seat feel bitch? You cozy up there bitch? If I had a bitch ass like you I'd be comfortable up there too. Awww, am I hurting your feelings bitch? Can you not handle this? Huh, what do I care if the kid behind me is listening, he's a bitch too. Turn around bitch, I don't want to see your face.”
What had I done to deserve this lashing, from Lauren of all people? Why I took the front seat on the roller coaster that she had been hoping to get herself. In my defense I was standing in front of her in the line, and Brittany Pike and I had already stated our desire for that seat as well. So naturally when it was our turn to get on we sprinted to it to claim our spot, and exert our dominance. We were foolish to think Lauren would take this lying down. Lauren was a different person outside of town. We liked to refer to her as 'Travel Lauren.' Anything could set her off, and you could always tell the rage was coming by how big her eyes were.
The day had started as amazing as it seems in the movies. The sun was out, birds were chirping, smiles on everyones faces. He strolled at a leisure pace through the park. There was no hurry, we had plenty of time, and besides, we were on vacation. We were all so comfortable with one another that there were times when we could go several minutes without saying a word to one another. On one occasion I had zoned out in our 'comfort silence' moment to see Beth prodding her piece of chicken with a finger as Lauren admired herself in her personal mirror.
I said, “Me and Lauren want to ride the ride that Ellen narrates.”
Then Brittany Pike said, “Oh, well I'm going to go look for this bakery I read about in the park.”
Then Beth said, “Ooooo, me too.”
We all agreed to part ways, but little did we know this is what would be our downfall. In continuing with our movie perfect day, the time Lauren and I spent together would have been perfectly suited for a movie montage. Perky music playing as one activity bested the one before it. Nothing had put a damper on our time together. Then my phone rang. It was Beth.
She said, “Where are you?”
I said, “Why, what do you want?” I could detect tension on her end of the line.
She said, “We want to meet back up. This has been awful, Brittany Pike didn't know where she was going, but she insisted she did, and we just kept walking around for hours. At one point she ran ahead of me and jumped on a monorail as the doors were closing and I was left behind at the station. I'm just ready to meet back up.”
Then I said, “Oh, that sucks. Well we're over by the big pond, just look for the tree, alright gotta get off here, talk to you soon.”
“Oh no Lauren, they want to ruin our day! They want to meet back up and they're both annoyed with one another. What do we do?”
At that moment Brittany Pike called Lauren.
Brittany Pike said, “Now where exactly are you, those directions were vague.”
Then Lauren said, “We're by the big pond, and then there's a big tree over here too.”
Then I said quietly so only Lauren could hear, “Yeah, keep it broad and general so they can't find us.”
Then Brittany Pike said, “Well we want to meet back up. This has been awful, it took me longer to find the place than I thought, and Beth was always a step behind me and I was in a hurry. At one point we had to catch the monorail and she was walking and texting so when I got on she wasn't paying attention so she missed it. I'm just ready to meet back up so she can follow you guys around.”
Then Lauren said, “Well we don't have to meet up, you guys can do your own thing, we're in no rush.”
Then Brittany Pike said, “Oh we see you,” and hung up the phone.
Lauren said to me, “Damn it, what do we do? They're going to erase the greatness that was this day.”
And they did. As a result of their bad moods ours were brought down too. As we exited a ride I apologized for how mediocre it was.
I said, “Sorry you guys, it wasn't as fun as I remembered it. I thought there was a little more action.”
The Lauren said, “Oh like when you made me watch all of Sister Act 2 last week because you were waiting for the action to start?”
Then I said, “Oh yeah? Well did you conveniently forget just minutes ago when you made me ride the Carousel of Progress? You certainly talked that up and I kept looking for ways to get out of there the whole time!”
Then Lauren said quietly to me, “Wait, we've got to stop. This is just what they wanted.”
And we stopped. And we got along perfectly. For the next seven minutes. At that point I sat in the spot she wanted on a roller coaster. An awful one at that.