Die Bank

"So then I looked at her and said 'listen, if you don't like the way I do things then you can just go to hell. Cause I run things around here and people do what I say. Aight? We good.' And then she didn't know what to say. She looked at me like she was gonna cry and I just looked back, then I said 'what, bitch?' I shut her down. "

"No you didn't. I was there. You didn't say any of that."

Beth stared into the air thinking for a moment after Lauren disputed her comments.

"Oh yeah. I forgot."

"How often do you make stuff like that up?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I've lost track. Anyway, how are things going with the gorillas?"

"Well I don't work with them...."

"Oh! What was the deal with that fight? I heard that the dad ripped off the baby's leg. Wait, so you didn't see the fight?"

"I saw it, I was there. That's the reason I don't work with the gorillas anymore. It's really complicated to explain and I don't want to say anymore than that. Ok?"

"No. Not ok. That's not an acceptable answer. Tell me what happened."

"All I feel like saying is that I no longer work with the gorillas. And I now work with the goats, donkeys, and tortoises in the petting zoo."

"Oh I bet that's awful."

"It is! You wouldn't believe how rough it gets there. The cliques, the battle to be the alpha. It's ridiculous. And Jezebel is always…"

"I was talking about having to deal with kids all day."

"Well… Why are you looking at everyone like that."

Beth and Lauren had been sitting in the waiting area of a bank for a while as Beth waited to meet with a manager. People streamed in and out and as they did Beth made aggressive contact with them.

"I'm just letting them know that I see them."


"In case they break any laws while they're here today."

"I think you're breaking some sort of harassment law whenever you look at them like that. Hey that's Hilary something…"


At that moment Hilary Gritton, Brittany Pike's nemesis, walked into the bank. Beth moved her eyes from Hilary to Lauren as Hilary walked by.

"Yeah, how do you know her? Brittany Pike hates her."

"I took ballet with her growing up."

"You were in ballet? I never pegged you for a graceful person."

"I'm not. But the only person that was worse than me was Hilary Gritton. She could barely stand up straight, let alone do any of the stances. But it wasn't a big deal because she was so quiet and sweet. All that changed whenever our old, french ballet instructor moved and our new teacher came. She changed everything, and she was especially hard on Hilary. She'd always scream 'niedriger, Hilary, niedriger!'"


'She was german. She kind of brought a military tone to the class. I ended up quitting, almost everyone did. But Hilary ended up thriving, and ultimately became the peer leader. Then Hilary started screaming at everyone. I remember, I quit the day that she told me 'Jesus wouldn't let a bad dancer enter Heaven.' We were 8. And she said it in German."

"Yeah, that sucks."

"Very much so."

At that moment, Hilary walked back by Beth and Lauren without looking at them. Beth, however, had her eyes all over Hilary. If it had been a cartoon, her eyes would have stretched from her face and analyzed every aspect of Hilary in the event she decided to rob the place. Once Hilary left the bank, Beth turned to Lauren.

"Why are we here anyway?"

"I don't know. I thought you wanted to come here."

"No I don't need anything." Beth started to rise from her seat. "Oh yeah, I need to get a new pin. And the 1-800 number offered no help."

"Why don't you just do it at the ATM."

"Because I don't want to."

"You have an awful memory. You need to start writing everything down on your hand."

"Ooo, speaking of which. Did you see that Sarah Palin was recently…"

"Wait, before you start, all those news channels lift whatever they want out of film or print so it sounds juicier than it really is. Everything sounds crazy and interesting when you can't see it in the big picture"

"If you say it you say it, that's just how it is. Putting it into context can't alter anything that drastically."

"Hell yes it can. I can't tell you how many Fefe Dobson songs I own because the thirty second preview on itunes sounded good."

"Ohhhh, I've been wondering about that."

"How do you know I have them."

"When you aren't in the room I go through your phone."

"Oh ok."

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